The world is constantly evolving, and children are acutely aware of these changes. Each generation receives distinct teachings from their elders regarding environmental protection, societal roles, and the issues that matter most. When it comes to communicating with children about serious environmental crises such as climate change, there is no one-size-fits-all approach.

As parents of elementary school-aged children, Adam Freedgood and John Haugen, co-founders of the sustainability consultancy Third Partners, know that many of their clients are business professionals by day and parents around the clock. In this resource we share personal experience alongside science-based guidance. We’re talking to parents, educators, and anyone who engages in climate related conversations with children — or even adults who get overwhelmed thinking about the climate crisis. Adam’s partner, Karen Freedgood, a licensed clinical psychotherapist, joins the conversation to offer a therapeutic perspective.

Interviewer (Emily): John, you recently spoke to a group of school students about climate change … how did you prepare for that and what was most surprising to you about the experience?

John: Going into it, I knew the kids were going to be fairly aware of the issue of climate change, and how it’s something that the world is struggling with. I definitely didn’t go in with the intent to lecture them about how they do all these bad things that are killing the Earth. I went in there with conversation starters about what they’ve heard about the issue, and how they feel about it.

And it was great. Kids are very receptive to learning about problems and figuring out how to deal with them. There may have been looks of worry at times on their faces, but after breaking it down and making the issue feel manageable, they were all eager to learn more about what they can do to reduce their impacts on climate change.

Surprisingly I can compare the experience of speaking to kids about climate change to working in corporate climate consulting. When talking with adult clients, it’s actually very similar. The people we work with daily are genuinely interested in setting goals and putting in the work that will help their organization take positive action on climate change in ways that are compatible with business.

“When you start to consider how a global crisis like climate change fits in to your day-to-day plans at work, it will be overwhelming, unless you take a purposeful approach to putting the crisis in context: “I alone did not create this crisis, I alone cannot solve it, but my company’s responsibility is X and my responsibility within that is Y.” That’s a reasonable place to start.”

Emily: Adam – how do you translate your professional experience as a sustainability consultant into how your relate to your kid on climate change?

Adam: When my kid looks at me and asks very pointed questions, like: “Dad, if fossil fuels are hurting the earth, why do you still drive a truck that runs on gas? That can hit hard.

The way I approach it: No excuses. Avoid being defensive. Own being a fallible human. The truck burns gas and creates GHG emissions. Are we trying to make sure our next vehicle will be an EV that charges from the solar panels on our roof? Yes. But we can’t do it all at once and it’s not up to our household to “save the world” or “offset” what the people down the street with the fleet of Chevy Suburbans and the propane heated pool are doing at their house.

I take a similar approach (different tone) when breaking down the problem with a team of corporate executives. They might use a ton of energy in their operations and need help unpacking what to do about it. Both situations: Own it with urgency but don’t pretend there are easy immediate solutions. Contrary to popular belief in consulting we don’t tend to give off the cuff “advice.” It’s a more constructive, evidence-based process.

And you Karen, as a psychotherapist, how do you talk to your kid or patients about climate or other environmental crises?

Karen: Not giving off the cuff advice — that holds true for therapy, too. A key difference between therapy and consulting or coaching is that therapists do not give advice or offer outside data or evidence to change anyone’s mind. We primarily support our clients to reach sound conclusions for themselves using specific tools and therapeutic approaches. With our son, Adam does most of the talking when it comes to environmental issues at home (which he is happy to do). My go-to strategies involve promoting emotional resiliency and wellbeing. For example, encouraging our son to recognize and express big feelings instead of keeping them inside.

In my therapy practice I encourage clients to approach their environmental fears through a mindfulness based approach. At the intersection of these 3 factors, people find the most success turning their anxiety into action over time:

1. Keep your mind on what you can do
2. Think only about what you can control
3. Consider your specific strengths and interests.

Emily: Climate anxiety is real, especially among young people. John, a lot of resources on this topic are not very nuanced; for example: “10 things your household can do to save the earth.” Is there any validity in following advice like that?

John: Oversimplifications are natural but they can also be harmful. In fact, thinking that way helps explain why we have a climate crisis in the first place. Whether it’s corporate sustainability or what our household is going to do this weekend, people have one thing in common: they are acting in their own self-interest 99% of the time.

Changing default behavior is hard, and will always fail if the rationale for the change is that a consultant or a parent uses that dreaded phrase “because I said so.” Advice we give our corporate clients that works at home too: Find the intersection of what’s scientifically valid and what people will actually, feasibly do, with pleasure.

Adam: That’s spot on. It’s a huge gap to bridge to try to relate bigger picture, infrastructure scale challenges — like carbon emissions from air travel — to individual actions. Air travel is often positioned as a personal choice that someone can just “cut down on.” Truly, when we consider what brings people joy or what is necessary in a business environment, it is not a fair choice or option for most people to voluntarily fly less. Its not that we enjoy flying. The process is annoying. But we enjoy where flying gets us. Someplace warm. Someplace where we interact with other professionals or see loved ones. Challenges like this are best tackled as infrastructure scale changes not opt-in tweaks to individual behavior.

John: Ok here’s one example that’s more bite sized, pun intended. Eating less processed meat at home. That is a tip or quick fix our household can reasonably do that is way more feasible for our family than let’s say, further reducing our heating bill in Minnesota. The food angle lets us focus on health, nutrition, animal welfare, and yes — also our contribution to climate change. In corporate consulting, we call those stacked benefits.

Karen: I agree. 10 things you can do…is a flawed construct to begin with. As a therapist I just see that as an anxiety-inducing, preachy way to approach a person’s role in any major crisis not just climate. It’s important that we don’t shift blame onto our kids or suggest to them that their individual actions can solve societal problems that are bigger than any one of us, especially a kid.

Emily: What you are describing is essentially what happened with plastic waste, specifically packaging. Starting in the 1970s the plastic industry colluded on a public service announcement campaign to shift blame from corporations to people. The campaign gave people responsibility for “keeping America beautiful.” Given all that, how do you talk to your kids about plastic pollution in your households?

Adam: What I said earlier holds true. We first have to own that we’re part of the problem. We generate a lot of plastic packaging waste, and there are few good alternatives available to our family where we shop today. So, while it’s important to us to pollute less, alternatives are out of our control. Tactically, when our kid gets to make a choice about a new toy, we try to steer him away from cheap plastic stuff but he has not yet made the connection and we are certainly not forcing it.

John: In our business we spent several years helping Nickelodeon design SpongeBob SquarePants Operation Sea Change, a fun look at a very serious problem with plastic pollution that has some real teeth behind it. The brand is doing the work of cleaning up millions of pounds of plastic pollution. In the messaging to kids and families, it’s very clear and purposeful that no one is saying “save the earth” or “you can make a difference” – – thats what we were told as kids and it’s gotten the world into worse shape.

Instead, good impact campaigns provide objective scientific facts about the scale of the problem, acknowledging that companies play a role, and trying to set new standards for products that don’t have the kind of unnecessary and problematic consequences for the environment that earlier generations created. In my view, this kind of program is the model for the future. Don’t shift blame. Own it, clean up, and work on doing better.

Karen: Whenever Adam brings up SpongeBob and the plastic pollution reduction campaign our kid’s eyes light up and he is just paying attention so carefully. These influential characters, personalities like SpongeBob or Mr. Beast — as silly and offbeat as they are, in our household they play a real role in how our kid sees the world today and his place in it. So it’s critical that the advice they dispense on climate and other global issues is grounded in science.

Emily: Karen, what role do you see climate change playing in the conditions you treat?

Karen: The climate crisis absolutely plays a role. Acutely, I have found that depression and anxiety in both kids and adults are worsened by the immediate, tangible environmental stresses around us that we know are being worsened by climate change. For example, the wildfires last year. They blackened the skies over much of the country for days at a time. The year before that, it was extreme floods that ruined homes in towns near us. Those are life-altering events that would stress anyone out. And they are becoming much more frequent and severe.

Zooming out, the bigger picture long-term view of climate change can contribute to feelings of hopelessness, powerlessness. That’s true for anyone, not just people who are clinically depressed.

So as a clinician, I am helping people deal with both the acute and the longer term consequences of climate change. Not everyone has the same ability to handle yet another source of stress like this. I encourage people to look at the resources available from the Climate Psychology Alliance. Great stuff in there for youth and adults.

Emily: To wrap up, we’re not proposing 10 easy fixes for talking about climate with your kids; so, what are we suggesting to parents or those who need to have simpler, easier conversations about what we as individuals can do about climate change?

Adam: The first time I observed my kid making the connection between his actions and climate change was around age 4. He was playing with garden hose in our front yard on a beautiful day. Just a wonderful, carefree moment. On his own, he made a comment that the water coming out of the hose was powered by pumps that used energy from fossil fuels. I was just floored. I am guessing he picked that up from seeing how water gets pumped on “Modern Marvels,” which is frequently on TV in our house. Kids today have access to so much information.

We can’t approach the climate crisis the way educators and parents drilled “reduce, reuse, recycle” into us as kids. I think the key is to promote all-around emotional wellbeing.

John: Resiliency is a word that’s used a lot in terms of corporate sustainability, cities, buildings.

Karen: It takes on a whole new meaning when we think about emotional resiliency and what it’s going to take for us as human beings to address this monumental challenge of our own creation. I’ll emphasize mindfulness again.

Emily: In the link above, you’ll find a downloadable resource guide for tips on talking about climate change with kids, dealing with your own climate anxieties, and where to go for additional resources. Thank you for joining us today.